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July 28, 2021
Addiction is hard enough on itsown. The presence of children makes iteven harder and may make recovery seem impossible. It’s always difficult to get sober, andcaring for kids while doing so may increase pressure on the parent. Many parents even think that attemptingrecovery only to start using again may be harder on children than a continuedpattern of substance use. And, they feelmisunderstood and therefore assume no one could possibly help.
Aa parent’s addiction hasnegative effects on children of any age. Taking the leap to enter recovery might decrease stability in the shortterm, but over the long term, it gives parents a chance to heal the woundstheir children have suffered and gives them a chance to live a substance-freelife.
When someone with a substance usedisorder gets pregnant, their baby’s development may face setbacks that willaffect them throughout their lives. Different substances cause different problems, but the more frequentlyany illicit drug or alcohol is used during pregnancy, the more likely the childis to face significant difficulties.
Symptoms of prenatal substanceuse include
Children exposed to substanceswhile in the womb may be born at a disadvantage, and likewise, living in ahousehold where substance use is prominent has a negative impact on children—in many ways. Children in this situation are more likelyto:
The impacts vary based on thesubstance involved; parents with an alcohol use disorder pass on a higher riskfor depression or anxiety and developmental delays in cognitive and verbal skills. Parents who use illicit drugs pass on higherrisks of the same disorders, and children in both groups likely experienceneglect or abuse.
Parents who struggle withsubstance use disorders may also end up on the wrong side of the law, and beremoved from the family via incarceration. This, too, has harmful effects on children in the household.
When children live with abusiveor neglectful parents, their emotional growth may be stunted in ways thataffect their interactions well into adulthood. Substance use often leads to crime, which adds the stigma of having aparent in jail to an already difficult situation. Children who have at least one incarceratedparent perform lower on average on standardized tests and boys in thissituation are more likely to drop out of high school, thus harming their futureprospects.
Most children are strong andadaptable, but even for those who cope well with being in a home wheresubstance use is prevalent, there may be more subtle signs of distress. These children may be forced to take on moreadult responsibilities including caring for themselves or other householdmembers, in lieu of spending time on school and extracurricularactivities. Their rocky home lives maylead them to have trouble trusting others and may leave them feeling insecureabout themselves. These emotional issuesoften follow children into adulthood.
Data from the Substance Abuse andMental Health Services Administration estimates that each year, around 8.7million children living in the US live with one or more parents with asubstance use disorder. Many of thesehouseholds end up attracting the attention of Child Protective Services, andeventually, neglected children are removed from the family’s custody.
According to a study that coveredseventeen years of data, the amount of children entering foster care because of parents’drug use has doubled, and then some. Increasing from 15% in 2000 to 36% in 2017, this number has risen inline with the opioid crisis. In fact, up until 2012, the number of foster cases per year had beendropping in the US. Since then, it hasincreased by 8%.
Most of the children placed infoster care due to parental drug use are young; they are more likely to beunder 5 years old than children placed in foster care for other reasons. Removing any child from their parents is atraumatic experience for both, and the foster system is notoriously underfunded andover-crowded. Further, once children areremoved from their parents, the state does not extend an offer of help….despitethe fact that our criminal justice system offers treatment rather than punishmentfor nonviolent drug users.
Not only would giving parents ahelping hand conserve resources for America’s foster family program, but itwould help children maintain a connection to their loved ones during adifficult time. There is no cut-and-driedevidence that foster placements actually help children, and some evidencesuggests that being in the system may hurt children’s development. For parents and children, foster placement isa painful and potentially harmful event.
Healing the family after substance use
Going through recovery as aparent brings challenges that non-parents do not face. Family dynamics mustchange, as harmful behaviors are removed from the day-to=day and each membertries to rebuild the sense of trust and closeness.
Even if a family’s livingsituation has been less-than-ideal, and children have displayed signs that theyare suffering from living in a household lead by someone struggling withsubstance use, the recovery process can be a chance to make concrete strides. A parent’s hard work in recovery models positivebehaviors totheir children and shows that even the worst of situations can be improved witheffort.
It’s essential to have outsidesupport during this time to help the family aspect of recovery whileindividuals deal with the personal aspects. Parents will need support that their children cannot give them, andchildren need a neutral third party to talk to about the changes in theirlives.
Slowly, as a family creates newroutines and settles into non-harmful habits, children’s sense of stabilitywill improve. This can affect everythingfrom their mental health to their academic performance. A parent’s effort to be there for their childcan help repair fragile trust and boost children’s self-esteem.
The sooner you begin to face yoursubstance use disorder, the sooner you will be able to be a positive and lovinginfluence in your children’s lives. Ourstaff can help you navigate recovery and family life without eithersuffering. Contact us online or call us at (323) 942-9996 to start your recovery today.