Is it Selfish of Parents to Take Care of Themselves?
The best way for parents to truly help a loved one suffering from addiction is by starting with self-care.
Parents are consumed with anguish, fear, and suffering when a family member struggles with addiction. They have reason to fear for their loved one’s life. The anxiety can lead to sleepless nights, resulting in tremendous fatigue. The fatigue can lead to poor performance at work, poor decisions at home and to poor choices regarding their own health. As a result, parents’ capacity for supporting a loved one is compromised when they are willing to let their own health decline.
It is not selfish for parents to put their own needs first. Instead, this allows them to stay intact and uphold a supportive environment for the addict. A parent must find what helps bring some joy or at least some satisfaction into their life and they must work at being a complete person. Taking time for one’s self is vital. If the home has been filled with drama and fights, relaxing activities outside of home are helpful. Making the effort to have a meal at a nice restaurant or visit a good friend’s house can bring back a sense of normalcy and hope. Family members should stay social without allowing their entire being to be wrapped up in the addict’s life. Other practices of self-care include physical activities, pursuing set goals and eating healthy. In doing so, they are building the strength needed to care for the addict/alcoholic.
Parents and family members may find it helpful to attend meetings at Al-Anon, an organization that gives families of addicts a place to comfort and to support each other. Al-Anon is a valuable place for families to learn what to do and what not to do. It provides them with steps in learning how to support the addict while practicing self-care. Professional help is available through Sober Living in Los Angeles.
